Let it be known that sailors love sarcasm. “Another fine Navy day” is often heard just when things could not possibly be any worse. So in other words “another fine Navy day” is anything but.

This is just another change for sailors to prove just how funny they can be. This phrase would be heard any time bad news was told to the crew. Calling for an UNREP at 7:00pm in the North Atlantic during a storm was one time this was heard.

Using this is easy and might get you a laugh or two as well. After the boss lets everyone there won’t be any raises this year sound off with “Isn’t this just another fine Navy day.” But make sure he doesn’t know who said it.

I loved this one too! Our reservist unit, we always have a GREAT navy weekend (dripping sarcasm), with the manpower turnover, unit decoms, MOBs and no money at all whatsover, we are down to ONE working printer.... another FINE Navy weekend I just had Cheers

2/12/08

90-day Wonder: An Officers Candidate School graduate. OCS students are former civilians or enlisted sailors with bachelor’s degrees who endure roughly 90 days of intense physical and academic instruction, graduating as commissioned officers.

These can people can range from former enlisted sailors, to fresh out of college graduates, and in some cases fresh out of high school kids. It is hard to say which is looked down on more, 90 day wonders or Academy graduates. None the less they are still officers and will eventually earn their rightful spot in the fleet.

This will work its way into your everyday language. When they office hires a person off the street to fill an important spot you can slide this term in to talk about them. “The new 90 day wonder in the office wants us to push these parts through the plant.”

I just call all the new management and supervisors "ensigns" or "butter bars", most old salts instantly know what I mean.

LOL, that is funny. We had a really young butter bar on board, he was a total mess.

Almost the Same as an FNG (Ground pounder speak)... except brass. LOL , here's a funny thing I should us on my new juniors!

A word you never give much thought to regarding the Navy is boat. A boat is a boat and a ship is a ship, unless it is your ship, then it can be a boat as well. Now with that being said, here is the official Navy meaning for both words.

Boat: Water craft small enough to be carried on a ship, unless a submarine, which is always called "a boat" or "the boat" when referring to the actual vessel (as opposed to the "ship's company" when referring to a sub's command or crew)
A ship may be called a boat but ONLY by members of its crew, and only those who have actually completed a deployment.

The Boat: (1) The Submarine; (2) Airedale term for the ship their air wing is attached to. "We're going to The Boat for a few weeks."

Take for example if you are assigned to a surface ship, like a DDG, it is a ship. It carries boats, the Captain’s gig and motor whale boat. But, since you are assigned to that ship, you may call it a boat. A sailor assigned to a different ship, can only call your ship a ship, he cannot call your ship a boat and vice a versa.

Submarines are always called a boat no matter who is talking about them, since they do not carry a boat. The Navy also operates many small patrol boats and they are also called a boat. Possibly the only oddball in this whole naming scheme comes from those are Airedales, when they call the carrier a boat. I guess regular sailors decided it was more trouble than it was worth to correct the airedales.

Most fishermen use the term correctly so it is not hard to get this term into every day use. “I brought the boat into day so I can go fishing later.”

2/14/08

As an ode to Dave O’Meara (Grumpyolman) today we have butter bars. This is a not so nice term bestowed on new Ensigns in the Navy, most of the time it is used by senior enlisted members of the crew Senior Chiefs and Master Chiefs.
The term is derived from the rank insignia of an Ensign in the Navy, a single gold bar. In the

Navy gold is junior to silver. An Ensign can be fresh out of OCS, the academy, or even a prior enlisted sailor. None the less they are all given the term butter bar when the report to their first command as an officer.

Senior enlisted sailors can normally get away using this term because they have been in the Navy since Noah sailed on the Ark. (Sorry for that Jab) A junior sailor might get away using it, but it is not advisable.

The term is tolerated by some Ensigns and hated by others. As stated by Dave, you can use it when referring to any or all new management at your work. “Seems we have a new butter bar in charge of production.”

CIC, or Combat Information Center. This is video game central for the ship. It is a dark room that is kept cool and is full of electronic devices. People are sitting at different consoles looking at blips on the screens and figuring out which ones are he bad guys and which ones are the good guys.

CIC is one of the heaviest armored sections of the ship and possibly the most mysterious. During the middle of summer when everyone else is sweating to death the people in CIC will be freezing and wearing their P-coats to stay warm.

Everyday I had to track down the Chief Engineer and most of the time he was in CIC getting qualified to be a combat officer. This room was pretty interesting to walk around in. It seriously was very dark and cold. Several of the screens showed the contacts around the ship and tracking information. Others had the electronic traffic that was in the area. Then there was the big screen that showed the world. It had red and blue marks on it. These would show aircraft, ships, and submarines. It was similar to the screen that was shown in “The Hunt for Red October” when Jack Ryan is looking over the situation on the carrier.

Most of the time if you were not a combat rate you stayed away from CIC, but if you had a reason to go, it was impressive. CIC in your world can be the conference room, the break room, or a higher floor in your building. “The bosses are all in CIC working out the new budget.” Or maybe “Time to pull numbers for the race pool, head over to CIC.”

2/16/08
Bongo Bucks: Foreign currency, especially if several units can be exchanged for one dollar, usually spent without restraint in a foreign port as if it had little to no value.
When a ship pulls into a port and a money changer comes on board and helps out the crew by switching money for you. Sometimes you will walk away feeling like a rich man. We had one switch that was 8 to 1, sometimes they are higher. We felt so rich, until we bought our first round of beers. Each beer was 39 in the local currency, which came out to almost $5.00. Then add on top of that every thing under 100 was a coin and things got messy quick.

But other times you could get a nice 6 to 1 or 7 to 1 ratio and were indeed rich. These were fun times and it was great to be a sailor then. You could got out into town and buy a fantastic meal and spend $2 or $3. The same meal back in the states would run you $20.
The drawback to Bongo Bucks is they are only good in one country and normally cannot be swapped at the next country for different money. But if you are going to return to that same country again, it isn’t such a bad thing to have a few extra. Many sailors tend to build up a stash of strange currency and coinage from all over the world because they did not get a chance to spend all of their money while in port.

For those of you have or will be going to say Mexico or Canada, using this will be easy. “Make sure to get some Bongo Bucks before we head off the cruise ship.”

2/17/08

I am going to do two words today since they are related to one another, Rate and Rank.
Everyone in the Navy has both a rate and a rank. Your rate is your job. There are something like 60 different ratings in the Navy. These cover jobs in aviation, combat, Seabees, engineering, and personnel. There is an old adage in the Navy, “Choose your rate, Choose your fate.” Some rates are very good at providing training and allowing you to advance in rank.

Rank is just that, it is how far up the ladder you have climbed. Rank is also known as pay grade, such as E1, E2, E3, and up to E9. Of course the higher you go the more you make and the more you are responsible.

During my time in the Navy I made it up to GSM2, Gas Turbine Systems Technician (Mechanical) Second Class. That is a mouth full and most people just referred to me as Petty Officer Adams. GSM2 is also the same as E5.
Each rating has its own two or three letter designation and its own rating badge. It can be a little confusing to a person who is new to the Navy, bout you learn things pretty fast.

So a person in the Navy can be known by their rate, or job, and by their rank, or pay grade. In your every day conversations you can slide in that old Navy phrase, “Choose your rate and choose your fate.” Of course that is when somebody is complaining about their job. I also use the phrase, “That’s above my pay grade.”

Working for the state, we still have that system, except we call it "Job Title" and "Pay Grade".
The strange thing is that some job titles go from one (the lowest) up to three (the highest) while others go from three (the lowest) to one (the highest!) Go figure how they came up the that system. As for pay grade, it goes on for 9 years, where you get your merit raise on your anniversary date of hire, plus your contract raise on the contracts dates. This of course depends on what grade you were hired at. If you were hired at the mid grade than you would only receive the last three or four merit raises, but each year receive your contract raise. (better known as the COLA, although this never matches the COL.)
Your merit raise is dependent on your "PARS", or as we use to call them your quarterly marks, or the dreaded report card.

I won't go into the amazing math the state uses, as I'm still scratching my head over how my 1.5% increase for health care payments, exceeded my 3% pay raise.
And I don't do "out of title work!"

We have the same system in our Navy, though not in a completely official way. For example, my rank is Chief Petty Officer 2nd Class, and my occupation is Physician Assistant. I'm therefore called C2PA (C2 and CPO2 are both appropriate abbreviations). Most times, I'm just called Chief, or "The Chief".

A CPO2 in the US NAvy would be a Senior Chief, or just Senior. BUT!!! We always called the Master Chief, Master Chief.

2/18/08
Booter is a sailor who is reporting to their first duty station after boot camp. This term can also be applied to a sailor who is reporting to their first duty after A-school. However if your school lasts longer than a year you are no longer a booter when you report to the fleet.
Booter is a derogatory term and to be honest can cause some heated exchanges. Most of the time sailors who are going to C-school will use it when referring to the newer sailors attending A-school. Also fleet sailors who are attending A-school for the first time will use it in reference to the new sailors.

To be honest I never did like the term, as I never considered myself a booter. I was called one a few times and the last time I expressed my displeasure at being called one. I guess it was a good thing I was with a group of ex-fleet sailors to defend me. Believe it or not, I am a cool headed type of person.

Anyway, booter can be used to talk about those new guys around work. “Well, booter, time to sweep the floor.” Or “Look at booter boy over there, he can’t seem to find the light switch.”

2/19/08
DC punch and HT punch are a pair of mythical tools new guys are sent to retrieve. DC is a Damage Controlmen and HT is Hull Technician. On our ship we had some big men in our DC and HT shop. Normally we would send the new guy to see HT1 to get an HT punch. Or to see DC2 Meng for a DC punch.

When the new guy entered the DC shop they would ask HT1 for a HT punch or ask for Meng to get his DC punch. In turn the new guy was sent to see who they came looking for and they go their punch. HT1 was a BIG guy and could give one heck of a HT punch. Normally it was in the shoulder or if he was in a mean spirited mood he could give one heck of a Charlie horse.

The HT/DC punch is the equivalent of the left handed screwdriver or board stretcher. Some ships might send a guy to the 1st Lieutenants locker to get a Bosun’s Punch. But people never were sent to combat for a CIC punch. Those people in Combat just don’t have a sense of humor. If you were fortunate to have Marines onboard your ship you could have fun with them the same way. We loved getting new Midshipmen on board so we could see how many DC/HT punches could be given out. Nothing was better than sending a Marine Midshipper down to the DC shop for a DC punch.


So in your place of employment you can send you poor new guy down to the tool crib and get a CNC punch, or maybe even to the painting department and get a Painters punch.

2/20/08
Scuttlebutt is the same as Rumor central. Scuttlebutt can have its own life onboard ship during time at sea. Since little or no news makes its way to your ship any rumor is taken to be truthful. Even the officers will start to ask for the newest scuttlebutt after you have been out to sea for a while. I am sure with the newer ships things might have slacked off a bit, but scuttlebutt will never go away.

All you have to do is start a story and it will grow legs and run all over the place. On more than one occasion we would make up something so totally off the wall and it would spread all over the ship in a matter of hours. One time we received a radio message for the USS Scout telling them when to arrive in Ft. Lauderdale for fleet week. That was twisted into the USS Scott heading to fleet week. This rumor got so bad the Captain had to squash this one personally.

Scuttlebutt can be good and bad, just like rumor central at your work. So next time you want to ask what the rumors are use scuttlebutt instead. “Hey, Joe, what does scuttlebutt say about the new owners?”

2/21/08
No matter where you live there is always somebody telling a fish story. But to be truly blessed with the art of story telling you need a sailor. Sea stories are a sailor’s way of telling tall tales. A sea story is told by a senior sailor to a junior or group of junior sailors. A good sea story is actually handed down over the course of many years and has been embellished to the point of legend. If it is a handed down story the teller will insert themselves into the story as the hero and use possibly some nameless fool as the pasty.
A good sea story always involves drinking too much in a foreign country. It can involve women, but that is not a necessary part of the story, but every good top notch sea story must begin with this line “Fellas, I have something to tell you. What is to follow is a true no $@#tter !”
Once this is said the junior sailors will take everything you said to heart and will one day pass it along to another group of junior people. The best audiences for sea stories are the new Mid-shipmen on their first summer deployment.

If you are good at telling fishing stories then you might be able to make the jump to telling sea stories. Be careful if you try this because you never know when there is an ex-sailor around who can call you out.

One of the most popular ones I heard, starts many different ways, but includes a Master Chief and a young officer. The ending is the same, after smarmy comments by Young O, Master Chief flips a quarter to the O and tells him to call his Mommy and let her know he met a real sailor today.

Of course, that story wont work anymore in the era of cell phones

2/23/08
Talk like a sailor. I am sure we have all heard this phrase several times in our life. Sometimes it is said, “Talk like a drunken sailor.” Needless to say we all pretty much know what it means.

For some reason people take vulgar language as being common in the Navy. They forget people in the other services talk like this as well. My own father was known to spout off a few colorful lines every now and again.

Sailors seem to have taken the bum rap for vulgar language. IN truth there are several acronyms that I cannot use in this series, because I could not explain them using normal language. Sure we did talk like gutter dwellers while I was in the Navy and it can tend to carry over after Navy life, but people can change. In fact the Navy is changing. With women now serving on pretty much every class of ship, except submarines, the colorful language that was once so common in the fleet is giving way to a kinder gentler Navy.

However with the colorful speak of sailors going to way of steam powered ships, the phrase “Talk like a sailor” will live on. So when old Steve the 3 finger machinist starts running off a string of verbiage that hasn’t been heard since he was Steve the 4 finger machinist, you can use “Talk like a sailor.”

Push the wrong button, and you'll be surprised how I can instantly talk like a sailor.
Did you guys ever make up the acronyms as the need came up? We did in my "old steam Navy days"....
When I first enlisted I though everything in the navy started with the F word, after a while on my first ship, I knew everything started with it.

For us everything had two names, the proper name and the damn it I am mad at this thing name.

Of course we used the phonetic alphabet a lot. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and Bravo Sierra were two popular ones.

LOL that could be quite useful and very good way of saying colorful language without reprimand from people. It's not the first time my virgin ears have heard something like this...

LOL today our new US Navy Reserve unit CO said about the Training Dept (after review of records), "What a Charlie Foxtrot". I stopped laughing when he gave me (as XO) oversee of that Dept as my first XO assignment! Whiskey Tango..........

LOL James, I feel for you shipmate.

A similar things happened to me while in the oil lab on ship. The MPA asked if Iwanted totrain my replacement. I laughed and told him thta might be a funny thing. He just smiled and said, "I'm sure you'll do a good job." Thats when I learned I hated training people. But he did learn his job,but I am also sure he had a few choice names for me every once and a while.