3/12/08
EOOW: Engineering Officer Of the Watch.
This is the guy who is charge of the engineering section of the ship at any given time. The EOOW stands his watch in engineering central control. He will sit in such a manner he can see each one of the control panels and its operator. Since I was in engineering to me the EOOW is the most important person on the ship at any one time. He makes sure the main engines are running. The generators are making electricity and that every aspect of the engineering system is running like it should.

Combat people think they are the driving force of the ship, but without power, chilled water, and propulsion you are DIW(Dead In the Water)

So you can refer to your supervisor as the EOOW or maybe even the production control manager. Just call them that some time and really confuse them.

LOL

People never stop to amaze me.

I dropped off my paper work today for an up coming Cheng job.

3/13/08
Fun Meter/Fun Lamp

Fictitious gauge that shows the amount of mirth one is experiencing in any given situation. Most often used sarcastically to express extreme boredom or disinterest. Sailors are sarcastic by nature and this is another way to show that. The fun meter/lamp has nothing to do with fun. It has everything to do with the lack of fun.

Both the words Meter and Lamp can be used to express the same fictional piece of equipment. Lamp is used sometimes and meter is used other times. It can really depend what is used at your particular command.

Every time a ship gets underway you hear the ships horn blast and then the following is heard, “Underway shift colors.” However when this phrase is said at the start of a Med Cruise or West Pac some sailor will no doubt add “and the Fun Lamp is OUT.” Sailors will go to great lengths to add humor to just about any situation. So when you get awoken around 3:00am to go down to the engine room so you can work on a broken piece of equipment, you can say, “Well my fun meter is pegged now.”

At your job you can have a Fun Meter/Lamp. Just when you are looking forward to having a free weekend so you can get some bench time your boss comes over to tell you about working on Saturday. “The boss told me to work this weekend, my Fun meter is maxed out.”

Our Cheng was too bust playing TAO so the MPA was always hanging around central being a pain. Which since he was a mustang really made him worse.

That should confuse some people...

3/14/08
CHENG: Chief Engineer

Like I had said before sailors do not like to use long phrases so they will shorten just about anything. CHENG is one of those times they shorten. The Chief Engineer is the officer who is in charge the entire ships engineering area. This area includes, main engine rooms, auxiliary engineering, electricians, damage control, and hull technicians. His job of course is to ensure the proper and safe operation of the ships engineering systems.

Since nearly all potential captains need to serve a rotation as a chief engineer they tend to be a little too by the book. So as a side affect they get their official name shortened down to CHENG. It is pronounced just like it is spelled. It depends on the ship as to the use of the word. Some ships use the word as a normal title, whereas everyone uses it. Others limit the use of the word to just engineers and never in the presence of the CHENG. Our CHENG was a decent type of guy so he did not mind us using it.

You can use this at work, especially if you work in a power plant or other similar type facility, or even if you work in a large machine shop. Then just use the term when referring to the top engineer or even the top CNC guy. “Cheng must be having a coffee since he isn’t out here doing his job.”

3/15/08

OK, any ex-Navy Chiefs or above who do not have a sense of humor, stop reading and skip today’s installment.

I am serious, stop reading and return to your regular activities.




Alright now that they stopped reading I can cover the next famous term that came to mind. Coffee hook/doughnut hook.

Navy chiefs have developed a special method of holding their cups of hot Navy coffee without spilling a drop. This method is also used to hold onto their daily doughnuts when not holding their coffee.

The coffee hook is formed with the index finger on the right hand. This finger is inserted into the coffee cups handle and wrapped tightly around it. The handle is locked between the index finger and the middle finger. To ensure a stable hook the thumb is then pressed down on to the lip of the coffee cup.

The doughnut hook is very similar, but instead of a coffee cup a doughnut is used. Only doughnuts with holes are eaten by true hard core Navy chiefs while at sea.

It has been said the higher in rank a chief raises the better his coffee holding skills become. Legend has some chiefs holding a hot cup of black navy coffee on the bridge of a ship going through Halsey's Typhoon and not spilling a drop.

Everyone has a person like a Navy chief or even a retired chief in their place of work. Also more than likely they have the ability to hold a cup of full coffee without spilling a drop under circumstances. “Old Bob there has got a mean coffee hook going today.”


Please note that no Navy Chiefs were harmed during the writing of this post.

hello Jim,
maybe no chiefs were harmed,but if they catch you,you might be.LOL
cheers,
Bruce

Well, hey gotta find me first.

3/16/08

Sunday Routine

While underway sailors do not much if any free time. You stand watch 3 times a day, then work while you are not on watch, and sleep. So to be decent many ships will have Sunday Routine. On a Sunday you are allowed not to have to work if you are not standing watch.

This is a great thing after spending most of the week working. You can sleep in, watch TV, write home, or just hang out and do nothing. I loved Sunday routine, becasue the helo was not out flying and I didn't have to get up and refuel it every 2 hours. Because of low staffing I had to stadn watch midnight to noon. Then wake up every two hours to refuel our helo.So on Sunday's I had a true 12 hours off.

Sailors relish thier time off, thats why liberty is so wonderful.

Using this term could actually be easy at your place of work. "The guys in quality must be on Sunday routine today because they aren't checking any parts."

Working the midnight shift is always "Sunday Routine" as the SOP is no work when alone, just operate the plant.
We also check in with "Engineering Central" each hour, in this case it's the hospital switchboard to let them know we are safe and well. Miss the call to EC, then that Operator dispatches the police to the powerhouse to check up on our safety and well being.

3/17/08
Irish Pennants
Since it is St. Patrick’s Day I thought I would try to stay within the spirit of the days.
(UK) (nautical) A loose or untidy end of a line or other part of the rigging of a sailing ship. Termed used for loose ropes' ends hanging in the rigging, or more especially in modern times, for flags with frayed flies or anything hanging loosely like threads.
(US) A loose thread of a Naval or Marine uniform; also the loose end of any knot not tied properly

When issued your uniforms in boot camp you spend endless hours making sure you have your name on them correctly and you also spend a good deal of time making sure every last little hanging piece of thread is trimmed.

We had to stop using "Irish pendants" in our reserve center during inspections, too many NYC Irish cops and firemen who did not like the expression

3/18/08
FOD
Foreign Object Debris is something that every jet pilot, helo pilot, and Gas Turbine Technician never want to see. When you walk in your parking lot at work all of those little rocks and pieces of junk on the ground are FOD. They can be sucked into a jet engine and cause untold damage. Some times the smallest rock can cause an engine to explode.
Every morning before the helos at Norfolk NAS would start flight operations every person in that helo wing would do a FOD walk down. They would look for every little piece of trash on the tarmac.

Prior to us starting our gas turbine engines on our first for the first time after a yard period we had to climb into the intakes and clean everything down. Every little paint chip and piece of trash had to be cleaned from the intakes prior to starting those main engines.

FOD remains debris until it causes damage then it is called, Foreign Object Damage. This is of course very bad and can lead to one or more people loosing their lives. The crash of the Concord in France was directly related to FOD on the runway. Now Continental Airlines is facing criminal charges for the part falling off their plane.

Take a look around your place of work there will be FOD all over the place. Our machine shops floor is covered with it, just because that is the nature of machining metal. Some time when work is slow have every one do a FOD walk down.

The PC military. I have a feeling I would have been talked more than once becasue of PC in the Navy had I been able to stay in. Soon they will start to call ships "It" so we don't offend women.

3/19/08
PC
I do not mean Political Correctness, either. This is the designation for one of the most popular persons onboard your ship, the Postal Clerk. He is the guy who makes sure everyone’s mail goes out and everyone one onboard receives their mail.

Some of the most eagerly awaited words are onboard ship are “Postal Clerk to the flight deck.” There times when we waited two to three weeks before we actually received any mail. That is hard on a person when they are out in the middle of the Atlantic out of reach from home.

In the Navy you call everyone by their last name, rank, or nickname. However the PC is probably the only one that is called by first name by everyone.

Most of the time he has one of the easiest jobs onboard ship. However when it comes time to bring aboard all of those packages from home and those bags of letters, he has to do some serious work. During one stop in Egypt we had so many boxes it was amazing, the whole liberty launch was full with them, plus two bags stuffed with letters. Our pc had to stay onboard and sort everything before he had a chance to go on Liberty. Poor guy was late getting to the ships party that day. But everyone thanked him and he probably didn’t have to buy a beer all day long.

More than likely at your work there is a person who drops off your mail for you every day. They are the person who brings you those worthless magazines everyday, but they also bring you the packages, models, you are sneaking into your stash.

3/20/08
POD

“Russians don’t take a dump without a plan son”, as Fred Thompson put it so well in “The Hunt for Red October.” To be honest the US navy doesn’t either. Starting out in boot camp we are introduced to the hand written version of the POD, Plan of the Day. We were told to copy the next days plan and put it in our note book. We had to follow the POD on our own and make sure the company was in the right place at the right time.

Then on into A-school, we had a POD. Get up, march to school, march back, clean, and go to bed. The POD on the ship is much more detailed. It will have the ships daily schedule with important events that will take place that day. There will also be some news from around the world and of course the day menus.

Rumors can be squashed with the simple line, “When it’s in the POD I will believe it.” Each division also has its own version of the POD, but these are normally kept in a book. For engineering we might have things like shut down Main engine 2 for inspection. Or Evap #3 will be down again today for repair.

Most work places do not have anything like this. However, this should not stop you from using it in your sentences from tie to time. “I am sorry but the POD does not have anything in there about me running these parts today.”

3/21/08
Paying off a dead horse

For some reason there are a few sailors who just cannot seem to manage their money. So the term paying off a dead horse comes fro the practice of paying off advanced pay. You get nothing from it and it can end up causing more problems than it is worth.

I had to take advanced pay once and it was such a pain to pay it back. When I was done doing it, I vowed never to do it again. The practice is looked down upon by your command and they will make sure you really need to take advanced pay before you take it. The same thing goes for taking a title loan, make sure you need it before you take it.

If you ever find yourself paying off a loan that was just wrong to take in the first place this phrase will fit right in. “I just finished paying off a dead horse down at the bank.”

Paying off a dead horse, isn't that what we do with our maxed out credit cards, over extended credit, and foreclosures on house we already knew we could not afford when we signed on the dotted line?

Well, not to go too far off topic, but yes, that is another form of paying off a dead horse.

So, you can sum this up by saying, people are thier own worse enemy.

No dead horses on this farm.

We have a saying in our reserve unit... not even the best planned POM (plan of month, reservist equivalent to POD) survives contact with the drill weekend...

3/22/08

Something simple for today.

DCTT

Pronounced Deck-it. Or to stretch it out, Damage Control Training Team. These are the guys who make sure we do our job right when we have damage control drills. They wear red hats as we can tell them from the rest of the crew while running the drill. If they tell you to do something you do it. For example if a DCTT team member tells you to fire off the halon in an engine room, you do it. Well, you start to do it, them they will yell “SIMULATE!” Halon comes in 100 pound cylinders and if it is dumped it needs to be replaced and that job is not fun.

The DCTT team are normally some of the senior members of the crew and they are qualified to do just about every possible job related to damage control. They evaluate how we react and how we do putting out the “fire” or stopping the “flooding”.

Anytime we would see guys moving about with their red hats on we all knew there was going to be a fire drill. So we started to get ready for the upcoming announcement, “Fire in MER1. All hands man your battle stations.” During my time on board we only had one real time that was called, but it was for a fuel leak and there was no fire. But your blood still get pumping every time they sounds the General Quarters alarm.

Getting this one into your daily use will be rather hard. Most places are required to hold fire drills, but we all know those do not take place as often as they should. So if you happen to have one you could call the plant fire team guys DCTT members.

3/23/08

Today I will take a break. With it being Easter I hope everyone has a wonder day and that you all did get some time on the bench. Also if you would all take just a moment to think of our military serving at home and over seas. They have a hard job and being gone on a holiday makes it harder for them.

Enjoy the day and I will be back to my regular whitty self Monday.

3/24/08

Bilge

Every Naval engineers favorite place to spend an afternoon while under way. First coined in 1523, the bilge referred to the lowest compartment on a ship where the two sides meet at the bottom. The term bilge itself is sometimes used to describe the water that collects in this compartment. Water that does not drain off the side of the deck drains down through the ship into the bilge. This water may be from rough seas, or rain or both. The water that collects in the bilge must be pumped out if it becomes too full and threatens to sink the ship. This water is pumped out of the vessel at a later time.

Bilge water can be found aboard every vessel, but its composition is always unique. Because the bilge wells receive fluids from many parts of the ship, bilge water can contain water, oil, urine, detergents, solvents, sweat, blood, chemicals, pitch, saliva, particles, and so forth.

By housing water in a compartment, it keeps it beneath the decks, making it safer for the crew to operate the vessel and for people to move around in strong weather.
The development of bilge pumps went from buckets, to hand pumps, and now electric bilge pumps are available for even small vessels. Bilge coatings are applied to protect the surfaces. The water is often noxious, and "bilge water" is a derogatory term often used colloquially to refer to something bad, ruined, or fouled.

A feature of the bilge is the swash plate, which serves to dampen the rush of water from side to side, which might destabilize the ship if allowed to run at will. The swash plates run fore and aft and have small openings near the bottom where the water is allowed to run through.

Some ships are known for have nasty wet stinky bilges, while other ships have what are called dry bilges. My ship had a dry bilge, but it never really was dry. There was always some mixture of water, fuel, lube oil, tobacco spit, urine, and who knows what else swashing around down there. If you were told to clean the bilge, you had just come as close to getting sent to Captain’s mast as you could get. Or you were a smart mouth Marine want to be Midshipmen who needed to learn your place.

While my ships was in a short overhaul period we actually did clean the bilge. It was dry and needed to have the layer of dry crud removed before we got back under way. So myself and the two other new guys were told to break out the swabs and get it clean. We actually mopped the bilge and even used rags to clean it. It looked really nice when we were done. But once we started to hit the open ocean again it was trashed.

So, if you have a nasty part of your plant that needs to be cleaned or a person makes just rotten coffee, use this term for that. “Dave made his bilge water coffee today.” or “since you just cannot seem to listen, go to the air compressor room and clean the bilge.”