Sometimes one of the hardest things to learn for some sailors in boot camp was the ranks in the Navy. For me it was the orders of the sentry, but others could not tell a Chief from a Captain. So, for those of you out there confused as to what each rank looks like and what they actually do, this is for you.


Admiral
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water amid typhoons, reviews policy with God.


Captain


Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, talks to God.



Commander

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in indoor swimming pool, talks to God only if a special request chit is approved.


Lieutenant Commander

Barely clears Quonset hut, loses tug-of-war with switch-engine, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, is occasionally addressed by God.


Lieutenant

Makes high marks by trying to leap buildings, is run over by the locomotive, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, dog paddles, talks to animals.


Lieutenant Junior Grade

Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed in the Mae-West, talks to bulkheads.


Ensign

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building, says look at the Choo-Choo, wets himself, plays in mud puddles, mumbles to himself.


Chief

Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them, freezes water with a single glance, makes policy and enforces it,
HE IS GOD. (Added by me- Or thinks he is)