THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN LOUISIANA:
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. So do people sometimes!

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a couple no one's seen before. I believe that

4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

5. Onced and twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy. Yep!

7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

8. People actually grow and eat okra. Yum

9. Fixinto is one word. mmm hmm

10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar! not me!

12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you." I say that too

13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.



YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. Yep

3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixin' to go to the store " Don't we all say that?

4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. True

5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. Or how about locking your car w/ the windows down?

6. You know what a "DAWG" is.

7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car. I thought that it was normal to do that!

8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup. (and don't forget Tony's!!!) That's not true, I own tons of different spices. But all you need is Tony's most of the time

9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".

12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

13. You know whether another LOUISIANIAN is from BATON ROUGE, north or south as soon as they open their mouth. That's the truth! But Cajuns are the best.

14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as goin' Wal-martin or off to Wally World

15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather. I grew up hearing that my whole life

16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?" I say that too sometimes

17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

19. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from LOUISIANA (and those who just wish they were). Not EVERYONE can be a LOUISIANIAN, it's an art form and a gift from God!

2. And they all are poisonous, they all swim, and they all try to crawl in the boat with you.


4. and it's all edible.

And what I learned.....you aint ate crawfish until you suck dem heads.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF

You know the difference between Zatarans and Zydeco.

:-) You just ain't right, Gator!...I thought that I stepped into the redneck comedy hour! But you know what, I can relate to alot of these, Ken (Louisiana-Pennsylvania-??)...I guess that we're both a little backwoods, eh? (ain't nothing wrong with that! ) Thanks for the laugh, mate!
~Gunny
#:-)

You may be right there. Ether that or we still haven’t figured out how to read a map.

Lets see for the YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF list I can check off
1, 2, 3, 7, (8 kind of. Don’t know what Tonys is but ketchup and hot sause work for everything) 9 (10. When I was in school we did get that day off. And most of us took off the whole week) 14 17 18
That over half.

Here ya go Ken. A Cajun friend sent this to me several years ago. I love it.


You might be a Cajun if:



you consider Breaux Bridge the state capitol and Lafayette the nation's capitol

you think the Mason-Dixon line runs through the Winn Dixie store in Bunkie

you've never vacationed north of the old Mississippi River Bridge on US Route 190

you think of the coastline between Holly Beach & Cypermont Point is the "Cajun Riviera"

you consider the seasons of the year to be Winter, Spring, Summer and Hunting

you consider the four food seasonings to be onions, celery, bell pepper and garlic

you refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather"

you have ever used a fish net to play volleyball, tennis or badminton

your outboard motor has more horsepower than your car

your boat has a higher appraised value than your house

if you use a #3 washtub to cover your lawn mower or outboard motor

you use 2 or more pirogues to protect your tomatoes from a late frost

after a hurricane you pray for a little rain shower to wash the mud off of the grass

you'd pass up a free trip abroad if the date was in conflict with a Crawfish Festival

you played your first game of Bourre while sitting in a high chair

you stand when they play "Jole' Blon"

your high school band's rendition of the national anthem starts with "Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, File Gumbo"

watching "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" on TV makes you hungry

Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry

your favorite band has an accordion player and fiddler, but no guitarist

your favorite talk show hosts are Okra Winfrey & Bryant Gumbo

the females in your family can't dance until they take their shoes off

you think "Baywatch" is an environmental group

all of your dessert recipes call for jalapeno peppers

you start making an Angel Food cake with a roux

you think boudin, hog's head cheese and a Bud is a snack

you think the four food groups are boiled seafood, fried seafood, broiled seafood and beer
you take one bite of 5 alarm chili and reach for the tabasco

in describing a gourmet dinner you use the term "deep fat fried"

you describe a yard of boudin and a pound of cracklins as breakfast

Mama announces each morning, "Well, I've got the rice cooking. What are we going to have for supper ?"
you let your black coffee cool off and find that it has jelled up

you think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids

you think gravy is a beverage

your favorite recipes start with "First you make a roux..."

you have ever given up tabasco for lent

you can accurately estimate the amount of gravy required to cover the rice while it's still in the field
you think four dozen oysters and a six pack constitute a 10 course meal

you have ever used a trash can lid for a pot cover

you have ever gone to confession to confess for coveting a shrimp boat

you've ever passed up communion but got in the line for the sacramental wine

you've ever greeted someone at the Lafayette Airport by shouting, "AAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEEEE"

if when your wife gives you an angry look, you describe it as "She passed me a pair of eyes"

you don't know any of your friends' real names, only their nicknames

you have more than one relative whose first name is "T" or "Boo"

your wife can stir a pot of gumbo holding the spoon with her toes & slicing an onion with her hands

you have a "Parrain" instead of a Godfather

your dog's kennel is the bed of your pickup truck

you know what an "envie" is, but you have never heard of a craving, urge or yen



I spent a lot of time at Holly Beach. I miss it!

Hey Steven, as a proud resident of the great State of Louisiana, I here by bestow unto you the proud title of "Honorary Coonass"
(A certificate will be emailed to ya)

Gator

(I've always wanted to take an Army DUKW model and turn it into a shrimp boat.)

I can relate to about 99 % of that. But then again I spent 10 years in Alabama and the past 17 in Texas. Went to high school in KY, college 1 at VMI, college 2 at Bama

Sweet tea is a way of life and ribs are pork (except in Texas???)
If you don't throw a chunk (not those slices) of bacon in it ain't beans
Wadda mean sugar in your cornbread !!!???

and grits well just a bit of butter salt and pepper please

you'rre either fixin or meanin to do somethng

ya'll is plural not singular (that's for you Yankees that never can figure that out)

Thank You Ken for the honorarium. :-) :-) I'm printing it off and framing it!

Does a complmentary bottle of tobasco come with it?

I like crumbled bacon in my grits...and tobasco.

Hmmm. A DUKW as a shrimper... now there's a thought!


That's the other thing I miss. Inexpensive shrimp. And and a big platter of fresh crawfish, and a beer.

Tony's Creole seasoning...even works on popcorn!

In the spirit of bashing our own states I'll submit these about Colorado. Most will be foreign to you low lander types.

People move onto the highway at 15 miles an hour.

You have absolutely no recognizable accent.

If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".

You only go to Central City when friends are in from out of town. (Central City is a historic mining town that is now a place to go for low stakes gambling.)

You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life (guilty. Actually it's more like 6 times, and not once since I moved here.)

You think 5-points is a ghetto.

You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed. (And you're not the last one to do so.)

You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is, it's still a one-horse town".

You think only stupid people get lost in your town.

When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South.

During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding". (if not I-25 then it's the street I need to drive on to get to my house.)

You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months. (absolutely true.)

If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle.

You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.

You have a broken windshield. ( I have three cars in my family, this is true of all of them.)

You see no reason to travel to Aurora.

The only RTD bus you've been on is the 16th Street shuttle.

You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car. (not me, but I have friends who this is true of)

You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail. (absolutely true of many people)

You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage. (Fat tire is a great local brew)

You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna. (Buck was a close choice, but our puppy Duke does wear a bandanna.)

You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city. (absolutely true)

You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.

You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.

You get depressed after one day of foggy weather. ( I can't ever think of it being foggy more than one day at a time.)

You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from. (I'm one of those liberals.)

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks. ( I actually think the third piece of clothing is a down vest, not the sweatshirt.)

You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.

You think gun control is a steady hand.

You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight. (been there, done that.)

You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

You're a meat eating vegetarian.

You think the major food groups are Boulder Bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.

You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate your local sports team's victory. (not me, but I have friends who have.)

You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista. ( don't but many people here pronounce it with the U as a long vowle)

When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.

Your car insurance costs more than your car. (true)

You have surge protectors on every outlet. (absoluetly true)

April showers bring May blizzards.

You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.

"Timberline" is someplace you have actually been. Many times.

You know what a "Chinook" is. You know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is. You know what a "fourteener" is. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.

Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.

People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.

Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

Thunder has set off your car alarm. ( I don't have a car alarm, but I've seen this happen many times.)

A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

"Where we're going, we don't need roads!"

You know where Doc Holliday's grave is. (and I've been there.)

You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight. (And you see many of them on a daily basis, just driving down the street.)

Driving directions usually include 'Go over ____ Pass...'

You've used "checking for ticks" as an excuse to get someone naked.

You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. They were both in the same year.

You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream

You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.

You never pack away your coat and sweaters. (true)

You can name only two people you know who were actually born in Colorado. (actually I only know 1)

You call tumbleweed "groundcover".

You love your Broncos, your Avs, your Rockies, Nuggets - well you can't have everything.

You or someone you know plays golf 12 months of the year. ( a good friend of mine)

You don't have AC in your home, but you use it in your car all winter long. (true)

If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.

You can name the states that make up the Four Corners.

You know what and where the Continental Divide is.

I liked it and Cripple Creek better when it wasn't.

The first time I went to Cripple Creek was as a full blown sightseer, just to see the historical camp. My wife insisted on putting a few bucks in a slot machine. She lost. I walked up to a dime poker machine and won about $20 off the one dime I started with. I quit while I was ahead. Wish I could say I always managed to do that well up there.